Don't you EAT?!?!

Written October 30, 2012:

As I said in the last entry, sometimes I pretend I don’t understand questions that have to do with my husband or the person wants me to give them money and I’m just not in the mood to make jokes. But most of the time I handle these situations quite differently.

First off- the husband question. Many Volunteers choose to just say they are married and their husband is well. Sometimes this works to end the conversation and other times it leads to questions like “where is your husband? In the US? Oh well then you must take a Togolese husband!” I decided early on that this approach wasn’t for me (unless I’m in some other city where no one knows me and I don’t feel like talking). So I respond to the “How’s your husband?” question by saying the truth, that I’m not married. This is often followed by “Oh you must marry a man from Solla! Before you leave we’ll find you a husband.” Always I say that I’m not searching for one, that’s not why I’m here. But then I take it a step further.

During my training, one of my teachers (a fabulous Togolese woman!) gave me the following idea: whenever anyone asks to marry me, I tell them to buy me a plane. This has since manifested into the following story that I tell to anyone who says they want me to marry them, or their brother, or son or whomever

“Well, as is the custom here, my father insists a dowry if I am to marry someone. And the dowry he demands is a plane. You see, the United States is very far from here and my father wants to know that I can visit him and my family and I can only do that if I have a plane. So, first you buy me a plane and then we can talk marriage.”

This is lead to several amusing proposals such as “see that pile of sticks there? I’ll make a plane with that and I’ll carry you to the US!” or “We’ll talk to the clairvoyants and we’ll go to the US during the night and return before morning” or “we’ll make this lid into a plane and we’ll throw it and you’ll arrive in the US!” Occasionally, the person says that I’ll buy the plane and we’ll give it to my father, but as they already know, that’s not the way dowry works here! (Plus, I obviously cannot afford to buy a plane)

So how does dowry work here? I won’t pretend to have a crystal-clear image of the situation; I’ve only been here a month. All I really know is that the prospective groom gives something to the bride’s family or does some act to show he’s worthy and to help the families bond. I’ll ask around more about this and write another post at a later date.

If I’m in a bummer mood, a little lighthearted discussion about marriage and planes is almost always enough to cheer me up. And, I can pretty much always guarantee that if I leave the house the conversation will come up at some point. Yesterday when I told someone I wasn’t married, the women responded “Don’t you eat?”

I was completely confused. “Of course I eat. I make food at my house,” I told her.

“No, no, no. You must eat here (pointing to the mouth), but you also need to eat here! (pointing to her babymaker) Don’t you eat?!?!”

I was completely caught off guard and had no clever response. All I could do was laugh and walk away.

Then and Now

Written Oct 29, 2012:

It is becoming challenging for me to step out of my daily life and take the time to reflect on everything I’m going through. Quickly things are becoming routine and commonplace and I forget how different my life today is from my life 3 or 4 months ago.  Then I was roadtripping with a friend in the US, able able to communicate easily with anyone I met, to come and go as I pleased, able to travel hundreds of miles in a day if we so desired or find solitude on a mountain hike.

Now I’m lucky if I speak English once a week. Fortunately my French level is decent enough that I’m still able to communicate with people, assuming they speak French- which most men and young people do, but with the older generations, especially women, its rare. And since my local language skills are nowhere near conversational, there are people I encounter on a daily basis where the words we exchange are utterly incomprehensible to the other. I can only get as far as the greetings or say where I’m going or coming from, yet even that is usually enough to get some smiles (especially from some of the marche mamas who seemed to have decided that my new name is “Alafia loo”, the response to most of the greetings). Needless to say, as soon as the conversation goes past my few stock phrases, there’s little I can do but smile, shrug and say I don’t understand. Sometimes I do this even when I do understand, like when the question has to do with my husband or the person wants me to give them money and I’m just not in the mood to make jokes (more on this later).

Now, it takes me an hour to go only 20km and I have to dish out 2000CFA (about $4, which I’ve come to view as expensive) to catch a moto just to get to the nearest town with another Volunteer. Somedays the journey is absolutely necessary, afterall, that’s where my mail is sent. But most days it seems like way too much energy to leave village. And traveling hundreds of miles in a day? Forget about it. Even if I wanted to, travel here is not conducive to long distances or quick arrivals. But I’m okay with that. For now I’m content to rest where I am, at least most days.

As for the mountain hikes, well, I can do that here. But its unlikely I’ll find any solitude in the process. There are people everywhere all the time and when I go for a walk, all eyes are on me. I’ve been sick the last few days and all I wanted was to be able leave the house and walk to the hospital without needing to talk to every person who sees Ouyobekpere  (me). But that would be rude, and so despite the fact that I felt like I was about to Level 10 (Peace Corps lingo for crapping your pants), I still greeted almost everyone I met.

There is one mountain, Siriyobe, where I can find solitude, but it’s supposedly inhabited by gorillas and giant snakes so no one goes there. While I don't fully believe the stories, they only make me more curious about Siriyobe.

But despite the challenges and the occasional discomforts, for the moment I don’t want to be anywhere else. It’s a little confusing when I think that it’s nearing the end of October and no doubt the leaves of the Midwest are in full color (or perhaps already fallen up in the UP). I get nostalgic when I think of the snow that will soon come to the UP, the smell of Autumn and the coming winter, or the aroma of pumpkin pie. Or when I think of tricker-treaters showing up at my parents’ doors back in California or of the Thanksgiving feast my family will soon be sharing.

Most days I try not to think about such things. Because there is also my life to be had here. There are new holidays to learn and embrace, new seasons to follow, new languages to speak and new faces to love.

“There is something to be seen in everything, and all pleasureable; things need not be especially strange or beautiful. One can get high on the dregs of wine, and full with nuts and vegetables. On this principle, where should I not be happy?”

-Su Dongpu

Moving to Sola

Tuesday 18 Sept 2012

Yet again, its been a while since I’ve written anything, but the last few weeks since returning from post visit have been incredibly busy. From finishing up language and technical classes, to preparing for the swearing in ceremony, to packing and moving to village, I’ve found little time to sit down and dump my thoughts onto paper (or more appropriately-computer).

             But now I’m in village and life has finally slowed to a more manageable pace. So the last three weeks… where do I begin? I passed my language test shortly after returning from post visit, which would have meant I could move onto learning local language, but there wasn’t a professor to teach my local language, so I just continued with French. 

            On Thursday, Sept 6 my entire stage and the formateurs and staff traveled to Lomé for our swearing in party- the time when we move from being trainees to full-blown volunteers! This year marked to 50^th anniversary of Peace Corps Togo, so the fête was much bigger than normal. It was held at the Palais du Congres in Lome which is a beautiful building! All the host families, teachers, staff as well as VIPs from Peace Corps and the Togolese Govt were in attendance.

            In years past the event has been held at the house of the country director, but this year being the anniversary, Peace Corps went all out! Dance performances, cake, speeches, the whole shebang! Not gonna lie, it was a little overwhelming but was enjoyable nonetheless. My host family and I all wore matching pagne outfits, even my two little sisters! I love my Togolese family :D

            After the fete, we spent a few days in Lome getting things we might need for post and enjoying a weekend together and free from the structure of training. I even got to see the ocean!

            Then we returned to our training sites for one last week of classes before moving to village. Typically volunteers leave for post the day after swear-in, but this was a peculiar year. My birthday was during the following week and I was very lucky to have it fall on the day where we shared cultural events with the host families. The EAFS did a little sampling of the Super Bowl that garnished a good number of laughs from the crowd, especially with only one person playing football with himself (and tackling himself). We also did a little Bad Romance halftime show with yours-truly as Lady Gaga. What better way to spend my first birthday in Togo?!?!

            The following day was our last day at the training sites. For me this was a whole mix of emotions. I was forlorn to be parting with my host family who I had come to love dearly during the past two months, but was also incredibly eager to get back to Sola! I packed up my room yet again, something I feel I’ve gotten very used to doing over the past few years and stared one last time at the blue walls before walking one last time to the tech house and loading into the bushtaxi up north.

            The trip ended up taking longer than expected and I chose to spend the night in the prefectural capital with a volunteer there instead of arriving to post late at night, especially since it was raining and I didn’t want to risk getting stuck on the road in the dark. But then early the next morning we drove out to Sola, I unpacked my things and now my new life begins!

            I’ve spent the last few days just hanging out a lot with my neighbors, practicing my salutations in local language and discussing differences between my life in the US and my first impressions of life here. I went to a Pentecostal church session with my neighbors on Sunday, which was full of dancing! I’m going to try to attend sessions at each of the churches to get a feel for the different religions practiced here and to meet more people in my village.

            Today I think I’m going to start putting together a compost pile or gather some supplies to start making some furniture (the one downside to having a new post- there’s almost nothing in my house). Petit a petit, le oiseau fait son nid (little by little, the bird makes his nest- a popular saying here that I find myself quoting nearly everyday). The village market is also this afternoon, so I’ll go greet some marche mamas and get some things to make a tasty eggplant wagash (local cheese made my the Fulani people) for dinner. Gourmet dining, village style!

-21 Sept 2012: Didn’t end up making eggplant wagash because there wasn’t any wagash at the market.  I can’t remember what I ended up making instead… but I went to Kara two days ago to do some business and meet up with a volunteer who lives there (Kara is my regional capital where there are good markets etc). I'm incredibly happy with my post since its out in the peaceful countryside yet the city and all its amentities are very accessible. I can't imagine a better situation

 On the road to Sola

 Farming rice in Sola

 One of the mountain villages in Sola

 View from the top of one of the mountains in Sola

My host sister, Lizzy, during a meal of spagetti. Elle mange bien- and she's got the belly to prove it ;)

Life in the Mountains

            29 Aout, 2012

There’s a part of me that thinks I should be sitting down more often to write down my thoughts. I keep sitting at this chair with far too many thoughts to unload because I’ve allowed vast amounts of time to pass since I last wrote.  And yet the only reason I have so much to put down is because I’m spending my time doing things other than writing. Who’s to judge that which is a better way to pass the hours, enjoying new experiences or reflecting and recording all that occurs.

            I cannot recall what was my frame of mind the last time I sat staring at this screen, writing to it and to all of you, so I’ll just jump into what the last week has been like for me. I’ve finally gotten a glimpse of my life for the next two years; I’ve finally seen Sola, the beautiful lush valley where I will grow my new world. The week at post was fantastic and I am finding it unimaginably difficult to think of how to dutifully encapsulate the experience.

            I arrived in the valley early in the evening last Saturday, just as the sun was making its bed on the west flank of the mountains. The canton chief and several movers-and-shakers of Sola greeted me with a small fête of Fanta, boxed wine and even some champagne! (FYI a canton is a classification of region somewhat equivalent to what we call a county in the US.) After the brief greeting I was introduced to my future home: a beautiful compound in which I have a living room, bedroom, bathroom and two terraces to embrace as my own.  The house is new, and due to this it is a little impersonal as of now, but have no fear, I will change that quickly.

Extra bonus: my compound has a bounty of fruit trees including four mango trees, two guava trees and a lemon tree in addition to the small field of corn, sorghum, okra and tomatoes that inhabits the center. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to mango season already.

I spent the week visiting several of the organizations currently working in my village, including the disponsaire (medical clinic), MUCAD (microfinance office), Affairs Social, and the lycee (somewhat equivalent to high school), CEG (somewhat equivalent to middle school) and two EPPs (somewhat equivalent to elementary school).  The lycee consists of a set of tables under an open air pavilion atop a small hill in the village next to Sola center- I’m not sure what the local opinion is of this set up, but its just what I dreamed of studying in when I was cramped up in the stifling white, windowless buildings that seem to characterize many schools stateside.

School isn’t in session currently; it’ll recommence in September. There were, however, some summer classes going on and I attended one with my neighbor M’fa, who was teaching some French classes. The teaching style here is certainly different than in the states. It’s much more direct and teachers are not hesitant to call students out- while these days I feel I have the confidence to persevere in such an intense environment, I think teenage me would have been terrified.

I spent my evenings with the people of my compound, including my landlord’s wife, Hermine, who is a student in Lome, her 9-month-old son and the 6 or 7 other kids that were always running around (some of whom are my landlord’s kids, not exactly sure on the relation of everyone though). M’fa would give us lessons in the local language and I was pushed to practice my French intensively. It’s hard to believe that I’m learning a new language through my second language (in which I’m nowhere near fluent).

People keep asking me if post visit was awkward, expecting me to share stories of language fumbles, loneliness and discontent. It goes without saying that my communication was in no way perfect, but that’s to be expected so I just laugh off my mistakes. There’s a strong joking culture here so I find it easy to twist everything with humor and people seem to embrace it. My landlord said he was impressed with how quickly I’m adapting. But in reality I don’t feel like I need to adapt at all; I’m just being myself and so far its working.

To be honest, I felt more at home in Sola than I have during my entire sojourn in the south. I can’t say if this feeling will continue as I come to develop a deeper understanding of my surroundings; perhaps these sensations are only an illusion of my initial honeymoon-esque level of joy. But I hope, and truly believe, that they will only strengthen with time. 

POST

            4 Auôt 2012

I’m not sure how to best encapsulate my experience in Togo thusfar, so I think keeping it short and simple is probably best. I’m living with a host family in Gbatope and they are fantastic! I have two young sisters, Lizzy, who will be 2 in October, and Esta, who will be 4 in November. My host “mom”, Akoffa, is 26 and incredibly welcoming and joyous! Since she’s really not old enough to be my mom, I call her Dadavi Akoffa. Dadavi means sister in Eve, the dominant language in the Maritime region, and is a common salutation for women, whether you know them or not.

            Akoffa is a coiffure (hairstylist), so we have lots of women coming through the house everyday to get their hair done all fancy like. Her husband, Koffi, is 32 and a mason. He’s very kind and he seems to support his family very well, both fiscally and emotionally. I’ve heard some horror stories about the way Togolese men view and treat women, but none of those characteristics have shown through in Koffi. He is more than willing to help out in the home and show love for his daughters and because of this I have a good deal of respect for him.

            Our house is located within the “palais du chief” (The Canton chief’s palace), so it’s been a bit of a joke that I’m a princess. I have a bedroom and a sitting room to myself, although I don’t spend much time in them aside from sleeping and a little studying. It’s much more comfortable and engaging to pass time in the common space with my family and their friends.

            Mt French skills are coming along nicely. I placed in at intermediate-low, only one step away from the required int-mid level, which shockingly made me the most advance French speaker in the EAFS sector (but a lot of people speak Spanish, so they’re picking up French quickly). We’ll have our mid-PST (pre-service training) language test in a little over a week, after which I will likely move on to learning Kabiye, one of the languages spoken in Sola. Kabiye is the language of the President of Togo and is thus one of the more important political languages in the country. It is also the second or third most commonly spoken language in Togo, after Eve and possibly Kotokoli.

            I’ve been learning a little Eve since I’m currently living in a place where that’s the most commonly spoken language, but I’ve really only got a couple simple salutations down. Eve is a tonal language and thus difficult for me, but people seem to appreciate that I’m at least trying a little. Hopefully I’ll be able to learn Kabiye well. There’s no doubt that local language skills will help me greatly with forging relationships and transferring knowledge in Sola.

            Hmmm… what else to share? One thing I am really digging about Eve culture is how much people joke with one another! This is definitely not a place where sarcasm doesn’t translate and I LOVE that! When people ask me to bring them things, I can retaliate with a request for their shirt or just say “demain” (tomorrow) over and over and they burst out in laughter. When I get requests for marriage, I just ask the person to buy me a plane. It seems that most situations here can be diffused with humor and that works well for me :D

            We’ve also been learning some great dances and I think I’ve got the chicken dance pretty much down at this point. I wonder what kind of looks I’ll get when I come back to the states and bust these moves out there? To all those awaiting my return: if you didn’t think I was weird before, just wait until you see me in two years! I hope you’re ready!

            Oh and FOOD! I eat a lot of rice and beans, which is great because I love rice and beans! The sauces here also have a lot of piment (hot peppers) in them, which adds to my daily sweating regime. I’ve been eating a good amount of fresh fish, eggs, the occasional chicken (I killed one myself a couple weeks ago! Something to check off my bucketlist), and a couple nights ago I even had shrimp! I’ve learned to eat all parts of any protein source, including chewing on fish bones to get at the marrow, and while this kinda freaked my out the first time I saw my host mom do it, I soon discovered that marrow is delicious and that its important not to waste any source of protein here. There’s also a lot of fruit around, including pineapples, coconuts and papaya. Sadly, mango season ended just before we got here, so I’ll have to wait until December, which I think is when the avocados come, too! My mouth is already watering in anticipation…

            One lesson I’ve learned: check for ants before sitting down. Those bitches bite hard!

            1 Auôt, 2012

I’ve been living in Togo for about three weeks now. So far things haven’t been too difficult to adjust to and not much has happened that I didn’t anticipate. But I just got my first shock: my post. I know I had been told countless times already not to put too much weight or anticipation into receiving a certain site, but I made the rookie mistake and did just that. I expected a placement in the Maritime region, at the site near one of the main phosphate mines in Togo, or in the extreme north in the Savannes region where I hear gold mines abound. I did not expect to be placed in the far east of the Kara region (the zone just south of Savannes) in the large village of Sola (Pop. ~6000), right near the border with Benin.

            But that is where I’ll be living for the next two years! I am both excited and terrified, just as I’ve felt through most of this journey thus far and as I’m sure I’ll feel continuously for the foreseeable future. So first lets explore the excited part of my dichotomous emotional life at this moment. Sola is located in one of the more mountainous regions of Togo and is supposed to be exceptionally beautiful. I am already well aware of how beneficial mountain vistas are for my mental health and serenity, so this is certainly a blessing. While I haven’t seen photos of my house, I’m told it has a large terrace, which may be the perfect location to welcome guests and watch the sunset over the mountains.

            I’m also posted in a strong cluster of fellow volunteers, with two EAFS located each about 30km away and one SED (small enterprise and development) located in Pagouda, the closest large town, which is a mere 20km away. These distances make my site one of the more remote, but its still only and hour-ish bike ride to one of my cohorts. And apparently I’ll be biking A LOT because moto/bush taxi transportation to my site is more limited than to most.

            While my site isn’t new for Peace Corps, it is new for my program and the last volunteer, a CHAP (community health and AIDS prevention) worker, left in 2001. So it will likely seem like I’m forging new ground, which is mostly an exhilarating thought. But this also means I might encounter people who have never heard of Peace Corps and forging work connections may be slightly more difficult than for a hf;r’’gtd                            d [[[‘’’’’\\]                9999999999999999999[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[

‘ (sorry, my two little host sisters came in and started playing with my computer for a minute)

anyway, as I was saying… somethings may be slightly harder than if I was in a replacement site. But overall, I think it will be a great placement and I’m stoked to get a taste of my life to come when I go to post visit in two weeks!